So I’ve been dreading this week.
This week is Eating Disorder awareness week, and I feel like I should do something for it. I should write something inspiring and uplifting, yet I have felt slightly disconnected from the whole event.
I’m also very wary about what I write. This awareness week has seen me bitter and jealous, for ridiculous reasons. I’m jealous of those able to preach from a low BMI.
Hear me out.
It’s an easy thing to do, preach about recovery do’s and don’ts when you are not following your own advice. I’m not sure where this jealousy had sprung from, maybe it just comes from where my headspace is at the moment, but through thinking this I realised, EDAW shouldn’t be triggering that sense in someone, and it got me thinking. EDAW has too much emphasis on past reflections rather then hope for the future. Too many horror/warning stories and not enough RECOVERY and positive stories.
THIS post is not going to be one of those reflective ones, I am not going to write about how bad I was or wasn’t, how much treatment I did or didn’t need, how low my BMI did or didn’t get. There will be no numbers, no ‘courageous’ before and after pictures, we all know what anorexia looks like, we all know how the story goes, I am more interested in telling people that IT CAN GET BETTER. That there is HOPE, there is light at the end of the tunnel, there is LIFE.
This is my main irritation of EDAW, people reflect and sometimes it seems like an excuse to let their competitive side out, to show the world just how low they sank. Personally I don’t care. I think its just as hard for anyone with an ED, regardless of how low they got, to pull themselves out. Yes I know this illness is very competitive, even writing this way is making me brain scream YOU NEED TO PROVE YOU WERE ILL, but no I don’t need to prove myself to anyone. I suffered, am suffering, and that’s all you need to know. All you need to know is ANYONE can suffer, at ANY weight, age, gender ect.
So I urge you, this week, if you are oblivious to the world of ED’s (I am first off very jealous of you) but read up on it, if you suspect it in a friend, family member, work colleague, reach out to them, let them know that they don't have to be alone.
If you are a sufferer, let this week help you make some baby steps, because this week we are all challenging ourselves together, you won’t be alone. Wear an item of clothing that you’ve been avoiding, try a fear food, up your intake for a day, resist a behaviour, talk to someone, and if you can’t talk to someone then hint, get the ball rolling to reach out and let someone in, let someone help.
If you need a sign to reach out and get help, well THIS IS IT, you deserve to get better, you deserve to not be alone in this struggle, and I promise you, it will be worth it.
And for those trying to raise awareness…..lets do it by inspiring people to get better. Lets show them what life beyond an eating disorder can look like. Lets give people the most valuable thing that someone can give another sufferer……Hope.
And just for good measure here is the film I took part in for EDAW 2013